Part
Two
Success of implementing boundaries is not based on what
your loved one does. It is all about how you handle yourself.
Tools
When it comes to tools the most valuable one we have
is communication. We have complete control over what we say and how we
say it. We choose our words, inflection, tone, loudness, and timing.
Communication is at the core of every healthy
relationship.
USE:
“I “statements
Non-judgmental statements
Be brief and stay on one point.
For chronic and intense situations (always
argumentative, lying):
Do not initiate conversation
Ask no questions
Do
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Always follow through.
Be consistent. Intermittent reinforcement is hard
for anyone to deal with.
Stay focused on message.
Simplify.
Be clear and precise about what you are asking for.
Pay attention to body language.
Consider timing.
Look for real meaning behind words.
Use reflective listening.
Don’t
Threaten.
Fall for hooks. If the statement doesn’t make
any sense to you, then don’t take it to heart.
Relationship building
Engage loved one in the solution.
Ask them what they need.
Ask their opinion.
Express confidence that they can learn to handle
emotions and challenges.